Monday, October 22, 2007

Cruel to be kind?

Well, another weekend has passed and I'm still working to get over the SW. The last phone call I had was last Wednesday morning and I thought, once again from his comments, that we would stay friends and perhaps date once in a while. However, there hasn't been any word at all since then. And because one of my rules is to not chase people, I've not reached out other than a short email after his last phone call.

This morning I was wondering about it, and thought that perhaps he is cutting most communication as a way to help the separation, rather than dragging something out. Each phone call and email is a little bit of hope for me, and he doesn't want to give me false hope. I know that it probably a way to think about it that makes ME feel better, but it's still hard. You get used to seeing someone, talking to them every day, hearing how wonderful you are together. Then nothing. The rejection and the disappointment are difficult.

On an up note, most of my friends have been supportive and affirmative, reminding me that taking the chance on relationships takes a lot of guts and work and that they are proud of me. They also remind me that if I found something like the wonderfulness with the SW, I will find it again.

Finally, to help me remember all the challenges that this relationship had from the beginning, I wrote a list and posted it to my bathroom mirror. It helps me remember that there WERE challenges from the beginning, instead of forming a "halo" of perfection on the relationship.

And so I move on.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Sassy - new to your blog, coming over from the Dating Goddess. Just wanted to say that I feel your pain here, but I'm just so impressed with the grace that you seem to handle it. I am still traumatized from a very similar break-up to this one and even though cognitively I know I should have let go a long time ago, I can feel myself clinging tighter to memories and the woulda, coulda, should'ves! Thanks for your healthier perspective and good luck as you make your way through this one.

Sassy said...

Thanks for your support, Christine. Good luck in your search for the great partner you deserve.

rosemary said...

i wrote myself a note and put it on my cupboard to remind myself that i have plenty of food and need to stop buying falafels.

Sassy said...

Well, that will work too!