Still sparking

This week finds the Social Worker and I hitting a new, but very nice stride. After a weekend away (I went to see my family for Mom's 70th birthday), we are settling into a much for realistic rythmn. We both are working to make sure the other gets some space to get life (laundry, freelance, grocery shopping) organized. I think we both would like to see each other 24/7, but know that neither is going anywhere at the moment, so we can sit back and relax a little.

On Sunday evening, the Social Worker met me and Wingwoman at Wingwoman's house for an impromptu dinner. It was lovely and fun and I'm glad that they are getting to know one another. The Wingwoman approves of SW, even with all the baggage. She sees how nice and sweet he is and how happy he makes me. It's so wonderful to have friends that care about you.

And last night SW cooked me a special dinner at his house. While the dinner was good, but not great, the effort was so greatly appreciated. He is so sweet and thoughtful and happy to spend time with me. It's a lovely, lovely feeling. We were at a point where we were all worrying about the future and how we would handle the family stuff, but for now we are just enjoying being together. This was something we both had projected and I think it's how our heads are wired. I'm glad that we are both on the same path and one is not ahead of the other.

After the thunderbolt, reality

The Social Worker and I have made it over the 30 day mark. We still love being in each other's company, but life and practicality has been sinking in. Neither of us have been getting things done....laundry, mowing the grass, freelance work, etc. Plus the SW has three kids to take care of on a part-time basis.

Last evening we had a more practical talk. Although we would both love to see each other every free moment, we need to start looking at real life. And in that turn, I also need to think about how I feel about giving up the easy, single, dating life for a more permanent relationship that includes an instant family.

The romantic side of me believes that this love needs to play out. I've never felt such a connection with someone before. But it's a tough call for me. I've never been in a serious relationship that had others who needed to come first (the kids). I'm not a selfish person, and everyone who knows me tells me that I'd be a good mom. But at 46 (soon to be 47!), am I up to this. The kids are young and I would be signing up for a long stint.

I keep moving between wanting to just jump right in, live this life that has the possibilities to be filled with love and joy, and staying in the life that I know and enjoy.

And so I keep thinking......