Giving thanks

After a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family and some birthday celebrating with friends, I thought that this time of year is a good time to reflect and give thanks for all I have.

During the last three and half years of being single, I've learned a tremendous amount about myself and I'm truly grateful for that. I've had the opportunity to meet different people, male and female, from a variety of walks of life. I've had people who have helped me along the way with friendship, wisdom and guidance. I've learned about relationships and love both lost and found. I've discovered my inner strength and what is truly important to me.

These lessons are gifts and I thank everyone for them.

Wingwoman and Best Friend T: how can I thank you for all the advice, laughter, silliness and strength you have given me?
Torch: you taught me how to be single, make a community from friends, and that I could date again
D&D: your relationship is a wonderful study on how things can be done in face of differences
Social Worker: you have taught me that my heart can be open again, even if it might get bruised along the way
Pilot: your boundless friendship is a gift

And for all the others too numerous to mention, I thank you for the bottom of my heart.

And so I move on.....

Special visitor

Today I saw an old friend from Minneapolis. It's been about 9.5 years since we've seen each and she looks wonderful! Just the same. She and her husband were visiting his relatives a few hours away and made the drive just to see me. The sad part is that it seemed so comfortable seeing her that it was hard to believe she isn't just around the corner.

She and he have a lovely story. Neither had ever married until they were in their early 40s. They met and have a really strong, wonderful relationship. I've learned from her that you shouldn't settle. The right person is out there somewhere. Now if I can remember that!

Anyway, thanks to her and her sweet husband for coming all this way just to have a quick lunch and visit. I'm so blessed with my friends and hope they feel the same. I miss you already!

And so I move on.....

Too much vanilla

I had a couple of days left on one of my online dating sites after the break-up with SW, so I decided to "show" my profile for the last couple of days and see what happened.

I got a wink and then a nice email from a guy I'll call The Agent. While his photos were just regular-joe photos, his emails were nice and intelligent. So when he offered to meet for lunch early this week, I said yes.

We got to the restaurant and had a nice, friendly time. But there was no interest on my part. He was vanilla, middle of the road, melba toast. Just nothing sparked me at all. Of course, I was polite and nice. He seems to be a good guy and was easy to talk to. But again, none of that elusive chemistry.

At the end of the lunch, I offered to pay for my lunch as I usually do. This is a courtesy to the date, especially if he's not interested. He welcomed my offer and I thought that this was a sign that he felt the same....no real connection there. We walked out, parted ways and went into the sunset.

Strangely, he called the other night to just check in and say hello. He didn't ask for a date and didn't stay on the phone long. Really interesting. Anyway, I've decided that if he calls or emails again, I'll have to let him know up front that I would rather move on and keep looking. Politely and nicely of course.

And so I move on.....

Finding balance

After the last conversation, the phone has been quiet and I'm glad for it. So I'm taking this time to look at all my behaviors, my goals, my process. I know that I want to find a partner, perhaps someone to marry, but I'm learning and growing and understanding that this is a process that I just can't control.

With the SW, I leapt in even with some "deal-breakers" right in front of me. I need to remember that I've labeled things deal breakers for a reason, and I need to stay true to myself. While I think it's good for me to keep dating and meeting people, I wat to make sure that I'm doing the right thing for myself. I want to think about what I want and concentrate on taking nothing less.

And so I move on.....