A date with myself

Tonight I went on a date with myself. I didn't wear a baseball hat to cover my receding hairline, I didn't talk about fishing, I didn't keep looking at my chest. (Well, actually I did, but only to check to make sure my bra was peeking out!).

I was calm and thoughtful and good company. I took myself to a concert to support a friend who was playing in a concert band. Then I took myself out for ice cream and sat outside and watched a little part of the world go by.

What a nice evening.

Please learn to spell

I was looking over the Match listing the other night and came across a nice photo. Good smile. Lots of silver hair. So I decide to read the profile. To my dismay, this is his LEADING sentence:

"this year I'm going to work on a new goal. To go on long bile rides."

Oh my goodness! As you may know, even if you're just browsing, the first few sentences on the man's profile shows. This is his first impression.

*Sassy shakes her head*

And this guy sits wondering why no women are approaching him.

Too fast?

I switched out my photo on one of my dating websites and have gotten some hits. One is from a guy that emailed and even talked to me over the phone about a year ago. He was nice in his email. I brought up the fact that I thought that we had talked before. I can not remember why we never met, but I'm thinking there was probably a good reason.

Anyway, without a lot of chit-chat on email he wants to meet for coffee. My gut is saying that he's moving too fast. A kinda of desperate feeling is flagging at me. And I'm torn. Just an hour coffee date is easy to take. On the other hand, why should I waste my time?

Kittens and Cougars

As I'm sitting at my computer this evening, I saw a promo on the TV for a new show called "The Age of Love." The premise is that they have one bachelor and two sets of women vying for his attention. One is called the Cougars, 40 and over women. The other is called the Kittens and they are in their 20s.

I suppose that it will show that some women who are in their 40s can be just as sexy and good looking as the 20 year olds. Now, I almost typed "smart" in that sentance too. But that woud be wrong. I'm sure that none of them were chosen for a TV show for their brains. I'm sure some of them are quite intelligent, but this show is so much about looks and clevege and such that it just turns me off.

At 40+, everyone is experiencing some changes in their looks and bodies. It doesn't mean that you have to let yourself go, but I'd like to think that people eventually bond and love each other for what's inside. My heart is full...and young.

Zen and the Art of Dating

Lately (as past posts have said) I'm trying to approach my relationship and (perhaps) dating The Torch with a Zen-like quality. As I said it to the Wingwoman the other night:

It's like I've been trying to make a river go where I want it to go. So I push and pull and struggle and get exhausted.
Now (after a very enlightening discussion early Spring with Torch), I am letting the relationship just be what it is. Enjoying our time together, being calm and just being me.

Lovely day with the Torch

Well, The Torch and I had a wonderful date yesterday. Per his suggestion, we headed west via the back roads to a lovely vineyard in the mountains. On our drive out there, he asked if I had ever been to Elk Hill Farm. I answered, "no" and off we turned onto a little country road.

As we turned left, the most wonderful old house came into view. It was an old (1750s?) mansion that is situated on top of a gorgeous piece of property in the middle of almost nowhere. It is slightly falling apart, but somehow the Torch would just know that I would love it. We walked around the property, talked about how cool it would be to live there with lots of big dogs, books and rocking chairs. I honestly felt like he had given me this jewel of a gift to show me this.

Next stop was a little canal town that's been flooded lots of time. Torch mentioned that they had a cool little museum there (kind of an outside display) about the town, the floods, the river, the canal and the flat bottom boats. We walked around, looked at all the history and enjoyed the small town.

Finally we were off to the winery. A pretty little place in the mountains (or perhaps foothills is a better term). After a tasting of some yummy wine, we got a cold bottle and proceeded to sit in the sun, eat our picnic lunch and talk and talk. After a couple of hours, we packed up and headed back to our town about an hour and 20 minutes away.

At my home, we made dinner (Torch supplied steaks) and lounged in the lovely evening on the deck while sipping wine and talking. At the end of the night we went our separate ways. And a wonderful time was had by all.

Out on a limb

Late last week I got invited to a cook out for this Saturday. The person who invited me is someone I consider a good work friend and I wanted to go. So I decided that I would ask The Torch to go as my date.

I gave him a call last night. He and I have been in contact through email and telephone, mostly work related. (If you recall he and I are in the same field and have been working on some projects together.) He did call me last Tuesday night to say hello and check on how my weekend in Chicago was. Anyway, he wasn't home so I left a message.

All day I have to say that I was anxious to hear if he would/could accompany me. This evening he called to say that while he appreciated the invite, he had a previous committment that he couldn't get out of. I thought his tone very sincere. He also mentioned that he would like to get together Sunday night if that would work for me.

I was happy that he suggested an alternate night. I just keep telling myself that I'm doing one day at a time, not expecting too much except honesty and respect and enjoying my time with him.

And so I move on.

Random dating thoughts

Life has been slow lately--at least on the dating side. I've hidden my profile on one site, and will let another site close for the summer. I think there are 2-parts to this. One is that I'm just not meeting anyone that captures my attention. I've been on the one site a while (on and off) and not seeing lots of new faces that interest me. The other reason is that summer is always so busy with work, freelance, summer fun, etc. I just don't have the time to date or even look around.

And I think this is OK. Sometimes you just have to decide where your concentration goes. And lately, that's been with family and friends.

Now, none of this is to say that I'm not keeping my eyes open. I have been swapping a few very early round of emails with someone from Match that contacted me a long while ago. I thought that he had bowed out due to non-interest, but he contacted me saying that he is moving to my area and business had him tied up. Nothing exciting, although he appears to be interesting.

Of course, there's always The Torch. I've been seeing him as a friend and hanging out with him. I'm sure this is part of the equation as well. I just enjoy his company so much....we have a ton in common....that anyone else will have to catch my attention in a big way.

And so I move forward.....