darn it!

Well, I hate being ambivalent. I am enjoying time with BuffaloBoy, but when I shut my eyes and look into the future, I don't see a life with him. And my objective to dating is to have fun, yes, but also to find a partner, lover, friend who I can spend this next part of my life with.

So, do I break it off before someone gets hurt? Do I bring up a conversation so he knows what I'm thinking? Do I just relax and see what happens? After 5 months, I think it's time we decide where we're going.

And to tell the truth, I'm not sure Boy sees up long-term as well. I'm not HIS usual girl....I'm more intellectual, more "buttoned-up" if you will, more "mainstream." Arrgh.

One of my thoughts is to see what happens over the holidays when we will see each other a lot less. After my Italy trip, things seemed to be better on both sides. But lately I feel that the "honeymoon" is over and we are seeing each other in the real light. He is forgetful, disorganized, not into planning too much. All things that might eventually drive me up the wall.

On the flip side, his heart is warm and generous and his communication skills are very solid. Surely there must be someone else out there that has these traits, and who is more of a match for me??