Slow learner

Last weekend The Torch and I, along with friends D & D, went to my hometown of Pittsburgh for a weekend of fun. Don't get all excited. Torch and I were going strictly as friends, although I was still wishing that we were dating steadily again.

And while the weekend was very fun with a professional baseball game, a wonderful art exhibit (www.chihuly.com), some lovely talks and a brunch at my Doppleganger's home, it got me to thinking again about the relationship between myself and Torch. While I want, with all my heart, for him to be able to open up and really enjoy a more romantic relationship with me, I am beginning to see that it's just not going to happen. I know, I know. Hit me in the head with a 2x4.

I just see how other relationships around me are, and he can't/won't give that to me. And I need to value myself enough to go for the type of relationship I deserve. He's fine to be friends, even good friends. But he can't/won't be able to be any more than that. I saw D & D this past weekend and they are such a nice couple. He made her tea in the morning. She shared her appetizer with him. These little things make me understand that there's more out there. And I want it.

This is not a new revelation for me. I've been here before with Torch. I guess I just need to let the lesson sink in deeper this time. He's not a bad guy. It's that he's not the guy for me now.

And so I move on.