Halloween Fun!

Lovely evening

This past Wednesday morning, The Boyfriend asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. Backstory: a few weeks ago I got an expense check from something that I'd forgotten about. When it came, I mentioned that we should splurge on a nice dinner.

We chose a restaurant downtown in the arts district, much fancier than we usually can afford. White tablecloths, multiple forks, etc. Anyway, we split a delicious bottle of wine (a Malbec), shared a huge bowl of mussels in white wine and garlic (yum), shared the pear and gorgonzola on greens. Lovely start. The Boyfriend and I both dressed up a bit and enjoyed just relaxing and talking and sharing stories. He was sweet, complimentary and even romantic. While that's not unheard of, these last months have been more of everyday living (feed the cats, go to work, mow the lawn, cook dinner). It was nice to remember the wonderful, funny, smart man that I was attracted to over a year ago.

As we were talking, Boyfriend said that I had turned into his best friend. I was so flattered and honored. I know he does not say things lightly or glibly.

Our entrees were handmade ravioli with beef, fontina and herbs in a cream tomato sauce (me) and a broiled seafood plate (him). We ended the night with chocolate mousse and a slice of cheesecake. All in all, a fine meal and a lovely evening.

All is well

Hard to believe that September is almost over. And where the heck did August go?

Anyway, The Boyfriend and I have had a nice month. We went cabin camping with friends and had a lovely weekend. Very nice weather. The best part for me might have been the canoeing, since The Boyfriend paddles and I just sit there and soak up the scenery. He was an awesome gondelier, taking us over some rocky patches since the creek was low due to Virginia's drought. We also hosted his 2 children at my deck for a little cookout and then had Boyfriend's brother, nephews and boys over for a football game.

We've also had a few little tiffs this month, but I'm still amazed at his ability to keep calm and work things out. Usually it's me over-reacting to something and him just bringing me quietly and calmly back to the center. Much, much different than the former husband. And I'm still enjoying his generosity and kindness, things that I appreciated when I first met him.

The other day when my head was just pounding, he did dinner and cleaned up the kitchen and put away the clean dishes for me. Not curing cancer, but showing his love in small, everyday actions. It makes me grateful to have him around.

And so we move on.

All thumbs up!

Quick update for those who read this....The Boyfriend got a big thumbs up from the family at the beach. My mom, who is wonderfully protective even at my age, said he thought he was unprentious and nice. High praise from the matriarch. Even Twin likes him! Yay!

And if you're asking, he thought my family was cool too. He fit in very well and the 4 days he was with us went really fast.

And so we move on....

Beach and boyfriend

Well, the annual family beach trip is coming up soon! Yay! I love to totally relax, spend time with the family, swim and read and sleep. And this year, it's going to be a little different. Why?

I've asked the matriarch (the wonderful Mom) if I could bring the boyfriend for a few days. She's graciously said yes. And so has he. Wow. I've never even asked anyone that I was dating to go a family beach trip. The house will be full of all my relatives looking at him and checking to see if he's worthy of me. What pressure!

I'm thinking The Boyfriend is very brave (or very foolish!!!) for going with me. But it also speaks loudly about how much he means to me and visa versa. We've talked about how the days will go and how he will have to figure out how to find his own space if he gets overwhelmed. The other day he asked if he could take his bike, and that seemed like a great way for him to escape he crowds of my sweet, funny family.

Off to find the flip flops!

Asking for it

Hi all and hope you had a good 4th of July weekend!

I wanted to write once again about the Boyfriend and how wonderful it is to be in a relationship with someone who is communicative and open to having a real adult relationship.

Lately I've been missing the "romance" of a new love. Things have gotten comfortable and while that's all nice, I was missing the sweetness of romance. The other day I had expressed this, very clearly and calmly, to the Boyfriend. Well, last Tuesday, he came through. When he came over for his usual dinner after martial arts class, he was sweet and tender. He took time to kiss me more than usual, gave me compliments, told me how amazing and wonderful I was. It was a lovely evening for us both.

A few days later, as I was still basking in that glow, I asked what had brought that on. He said that he had heard me and wanted to make sure that I got what I needed.

Moral of the story: I am able to ask for what I need and Boyfriend will be there listening. And I hope I do the same for him.

The comfort of comfort

As the weeks are progressing, The Boyfriend and I are find our own groove, routine, whatever you want to call it. I'm adjusting well to the "next phase" I think.

He comes over in the evenings after his martial arts class to have dinner and I'm enjoying cooking for such an appreciative eater. For those who don't know, he's an ex-high school jock and eats a LOT. He makes time to keep in good shape and eats healthy even if it's portions that would feed a small army of Sassies.

Anyway, the other evening we were sitting on the deck eating dinner and listening to music and the sounds of summer in Virginia. I am really enjoying this time since it's a good time to swap stories, make requests and propose new ideas for what we'd like to do for fun. Whatever we talk about--our weekend before, the week coming up, friends and neighbors, families, what we are thinking--is always fun. We tend to laugh a lot and I love that. We don't always see eye-to-eye, but we are old enough and experienced enough to listen and respectfully disagree.

I have to confess that I still miss the wooing and chase a bit, but I do love the realization that he is my steady, enjoys me and thinks I'm amazing. And that is the comfort of finding the comfortable stage.

Amazing Adult Relationship

A few weeks ago, the Boyfriend and I had plans to go downtown dancing. As we got ready to leave my house, a little disagreement insued. I was angry and frustrated; he was frustrated. We argued a little bit, then got in the car to leave. I decided to just be a quiet, knowing that if I talked, I would add to the tension.

When we got to the parking lot, Boyfriend and I got out and he suggested that we walk around the long way. At the corner of Main and 6th he stopped and requested that we talk about what had just happened. He was low-key and quiet about it, but clearly wanted to communicate. Boyfriend asked me what was under my anger and really, truly wanted to see why I was so upset.

When we started talking I noticed his demeanor was calm and logical. I told him that I felt critized, and that my feelings were hurt. He told me that he understood and pointed out that what we were talking about was trivial compared to our relationship. We talked about how I could feel better (a solution!) and decided to go and have a good time dancing.

Saturday we talked a little again and I was just blown away by having a boyfriend that is so calm and understanding. This is showing me that this is a real adult relationship with people who want to communicate and find a place where both can be happy. He also mentioned that he was grateful to have a girlfriend who was willing to be open and communicate and work things out to grow and learn.

Once again, the Boyfriend is proving to be someone I am happy to have in my life.

Constant and consistent

Well, the Boyfriend and I have passed the 3 month mark and I'm adjusting rather well. Why do I say "adjusting" you ask? Well, with the Boyfriend, the kind of "honeymoon" phase is over and we're now settled into having kind of an everyday life of being a couple. Watching TV, going to the gym, an occasional evening out (contra dancing last Sat). I always like the "goo-goo" phase, but I know that all relationships go past that if they are to continue.

When the Boyfriend and I talked about this a week or more ago, I mentioned that I was sorry to see the first part of the romance fading. He answered that he actually likes to get to the next phase because it shows more of who the person is, and if there is a real staying power to the relationship. Wow. Actually a guy who wants to see what's next. Amazing.

Another thing that I am both amazed about and grateful for is the Boyfriend's consistency in his actions and words. He's dependable, something that I highly value. He's constant in the old-fashioned way....meaning that he is there every day, without fail, without question.

I truly think that he is the real deal. And I'm looking forward to what happens next.

flowers

Last night the Boyfriend came over after his martial arts class for dinner. In his hands, along with some grapes and bananas and such, was a bouquet of flowers. So sweet. When I asked what the special occasion was, he replied, "just because you're my girlfriend."

I'm constantly tickled with time spent with him. He's a great conversationalist and funny and smart. We have some things in common, but are not twins joined at the hip. I remember that I told him once that I like people who challenge me...and he does.

I'm happy and want to tell everyone!