Goodbye KitKat

Well, KitKat guy and I have parted ways. Actually this happened over a week ago, but with work and other stuff, I haven't gotten to this story.

While I was overwhelmed by Kit's kindness, sweetness and thoughtfulness, I kept thinking about how little we had in common. I'm more of a city girl...he's been raising kids in the suburbs for the last 20 years. I'm a huge reader and want to discuss books, he hasn't really read a book for oodles of years. He's a father (and certainly a devoted one), I've never had children.

It came to me that we just didn't have enough to talk about, enough to really keep me interested. And if this happens after 3 months of casual dating, I just didn't see any real future. My goal of dating is to enjoy myself, sure, but also to find someone to spend real quality time with, hopefully for the rest of my life.

And so I move on.

10 things I love

I've made this list before and thought I'd make another one. These are not the only things I love, just a random assortment. Enjoy!

10. Newly polished toenails
9. Maybelline mousse blush
8. Girl Scout Thin Mints
7. Blue skies when I'm skiing
6. Sitting in the sun on my front stoop
5. Gorgonzola cheese
4. Reading a good book
3. My cat curling up on my lap
2. Pink anything
1. My new sheets with seashells on them

My dance card is full

Last week The Torch called to see if I wanted to accompany him to a career function. It's usually a nice night with a chance to dress up. When we were dating we went to this same function in 2005. I remember a great time, being very proud to be on his arm.

Since I was scheduled to go on a little ski weekend with my Doppleganger, I had to decline. I have to admit that half of my heart wanted to go and half of me was glad I could tell him that I was busy. Ha! I'm leading a life, with or without you, my Torch!

This past Wednesday it was the Torch's birthday and I sent him a card with a small gift of "cards" that I made myself. We bantered on email about these and his birthday and I was happy with the little flirting that happened. Then today I get an email from him, once again asking me to accompany him to a "networking" cocktail party Friday with a dinner after. (To remind you, we are in the same business of advertising.)

Once again, I could tell him that I was busy with plans. Did it feel good? Make me sad that I couldn't go? A little of both, once again. We chatted back and forth on email and he suggested getting together this coming weekend. Once again, I told him I was busy (skiing with another friend).

I suggested in a very loose way that when my dance card was open again, perhaps we could get together. He emailed that I should touch base when I was back in town.

I'm not sure how I feel about this whole, long exchange. As most of my good friends know, I'm crazy about him, feel he is an almost perfect match for me, think about him. However, as I know, he can't get on the same page of Relationships 101 that I want to be on. And so the "perfect match" label is a moot one.

And so I move on. Being busy, living my life.

I have mail!

Today when I came home from work, I reached my little paw into the mailbox and pulled out the pile. There, on the top, was a small, cream-colored envelope. When I looked at the return address, I was tickled to see it was from KitKat.

As I opened it up, I saw that it was a thank-you note. He hand-wrote a sweet note thanking me for making his birthday so special. Last Thursday I had taken him out to a funky restaurant downtown. We had a lovely dinner, complete with a Cosmo (for me) and a big wedge of pie (for me again!). {Whose birthday was it anyway?! hee hee}

I also gave him a card and a mix CD. Then on Friday, I ventured to his neck of the woods and he took me to a movie and then out for a short drink.

Anyway, I was so touched by his kindness. It took time and thought to do this very sweet thing. And I think it shows what kind of person he is. What's next? We probably won't see each other for a while due to travel, work, etc. But it's nice to know such a guy is in my world.

And so I move on.

Wise words

One of my regular blogs is a cute one on iVillage. The woman who writes it is a little younger than me, but in the dating scene as well. Today her entry was about "playing darts." It talked about how women pick and ponder about every little thing in a relationship, serious or not. And how men sometimes are not mad, or dating other people, or avoiding you....they're just playing darts. I thought it good wisdom as I move through this part of my journey. Hope you enjoy it too.

http://thisfish.ivillage.com/love/

Better late than never

Once again I find myself apologizing to my dear readers about my lack of posts. Life has been a whirlwind lately of social fun, work, school, visitors, etc.

On the dating scene I have been having a great deal of fun with KitKat. He's proven to be a sweet, kind, thoughtful person. I'm almost overwhelmed by his kindness. I need to keep reminding myself that he's doing things for/with me because he wants to.

For example, I had casually mentioned that I wanted to change my light fixture in my dining room. Two Sunday afternoons ago, he called, offering his services to go "light shopping" then to install any light I might find. Wow! Generosity of time is certainly a way to impress a girl.

We went shopping, ending up going to three store where I stood in the aisles craning my neck to discern between this one and that one and the other one over there. The whole time KitKat showed patience and the ability to roll with a woman's right to change her mind.

After the trip, I made late lunch in exchange for light fixtures being put up. We didn't get to all three (yes, I bought three!), but had a fairly fun afternoon with me handing pliers and screws up the ladder. And, Voila!, there is light!

And so I move on....bathed in a new, less formal light.

It never rains, but it....blah, blah, blah

What in the universe says that at one time you sit around with nothing to do, even with the Great Girlfriends, and the next you crave just one single night at home?

These last two weeks have been a blur. With work, regular social stuff, teaching, etc., I feel like I've been running and gunning. Add KitKat guy and a new "friend" (not sure what to name him), plus a bit of The Torch and you've got a potent stew.

I've had another date with KitKat and it was great. (side note: he needs some wardrobe help, but that's a different post.) We went to the local fine arts museum and enjoyed their Art After Hours program with some art viewing, some blues music and some tasty martinis. As my regular readers know, I really enjoy dating someone who plans a good date. It's not so much the Material Girl in me, but shows that the guy is able to plan, able to think, able to put some effort into dating me. This mostly applies to the start of the dating, when I'm thinking if this guy is worth seeing again. And I have a date with him tonight again to go to an IMAX movie about the coral reefs of the world. Cool!

And once again, KitKat proved to be a thoughtful, kind, funny date. We seem to have a lot to talk about, enjoy each other's company and have some things in common. I'm just trying to enjoy him for who he is, and let things move freely.

On the subject of my new "friend"--this is a fix-up from a friend I know in the business. The gentleman in question has a lot in common with me and it's almost scary. We have emailed and talked on the phone several times. I have not seen a photo, but that doesn't scare me. Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. He and I are meeting for coffee this morning and I'm kind of excited. If he doesn't turn out to be someone to date, I'm sure I've at least got a friend. And so I move on.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to all. Hope that you felt the love from your family, friends and special ones.

Last Saturday was the second date with KitKat guy. He planned a great evening out to see a jazz/torch singer. We had a terrific time. KitKat has great manners, was a true gentleman in every sense of the word. He called me when he was going to be just 5 minutes late. Opened the car door, helped me with my coat, etc. And he even asked permission to hold my hand during the concert. How cute is that?? I have to tell you, manners are a way to my heart.

KitKat is easy to talk to, friendly and warm. I'm not looking for a great love to start now, but I do think he's a bit "suburban" for me. After all, he has been in the suburbs for about 20 years raising children and being married. I usually am attracted to people who are a little more artsy, a little more urban. But I have to take him for what he is. He's certainly articulate, and interested in cool things. In fact, we have a third date tomorrow night. We are attending Art After Hours at the local museum. It features music, drinks, food, poetry reading, art tours, etc. Should be fun.

On other Valentine's news, I got a call from The Pilot wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day. He's such a sweetie. Hard to believe that we've been friends for almost three years. I also got an email from The Torch. Nothing romantic, just a nice acknowledgement of the day. And of course, I heard from my wonderful family.

Things unsaid

Tonight I'm thinking of the things unsaid to people; specifically to The Torch. Why do we not say things we mean? Things that we want to say, dream of saying, long to say. Yet, something stops us.

Is it intelligence, knowing that I won't get the answer or action I want?
Is it fear, wondering if I could damage a friendship forever?
Is it protection, not letting myself open up?

All I know is that I've done well keeping some of my deep-heart thoughts to myself regarding him. We have our friendship, our flirting, our fun. And so I will probably keep it status quo. But understand, dear reader, there ARE things I want to say.

You had me at Kit.

Quick update with more to come later:

Had a nice lunch date (first date) with a new gentleman today. And I use gentleman correctly. Pretty blue eyes, nice manners, good conversation. At the end of the lunch, we walked out of the restaurant and out to the curb where we were to part ways.

Goatee guy: Here, take this back to work with you.



Sassy: How did you remember?

Goatee (smiles): I write things down.

About a dozen or more emails ago, he had asked about my favorite candy bar. I mentioned KitKats which I adore. Wow. If he wanted to make an impression, he certainly did. And we have a date next week.

And so I move on...after I finish the KitKat.