It's like thunder, it's like lightening

Wow! Where to start? I put myself back on one of my online dating services after I got back from the traditional family beach vacation. I started getting some good hits this time. Lots of nice, new guys out there. And not a lot of fishing pictures, Harley riding pictures or standing-in-front of my truck pictures!

I had told myself that I was not going to be super-aggressive this time with lots of winks and emails. Rather my tactic was just to see what would come to me. A few came to me and we started some nice conversations over email. But I wasn't feeling anything huge. So I decided to wink very selectively on afternoon and see what happened.

One of the guys will now be known as the Social Worker. I winked, he wrote back a nice, short note. Then I wrote, then he wrote more. Pretty soon we had exchanged phone numbers and spent on night on the phone until 2:00 a.m. He presented himself as smart and witty, with lot of things going on in his life.

We made plans to have an introductory "ice cream" meeting on the coming Saturday. But on Friday night, my phone rang and it was him. He said that plans had changed and would I like to meet that evening instead. We had such good chemistry on the phone that I agreed. We met in a groovy little part of town to get coffee (him) and ice cream (me).

And honestly, it was like a thunderbolt hit. Both of us. The chemistry was so thick and real you could almost see it in the air. We talked, we ate ice cream, we walked in the summer night. We hardly wanted to part. When I got home, he called and we talked more until 2:00 a.m.

And the topics were not just about favorite places to eat and family stories. We went right for the good stuff--dreams, goals, fears, pains. It was amazing to me.

Well, this was about 11 days ago and we're both still reeling from this electrical storm we've walked into. There's lots of baggage, lots of differences, lots of challenges. But when I look at him I see into his eyes straight into his heart and soul. And it's so wonderful. I don't think I've ever had this feeling before. Ever.

We've seen each other as much as we can in the last days. And every day is wonderful. But there is pain too. The challenges to me are large and could alter my life. We're not only talking about dating and being boyfriend and girlfriend, but making a real move to commit to each other, whatever that looks like.

I need help. I need oxygen. I need to see him again today.

Wow.