I'm taking a brief moment to post quickly and catch some folks up on what happened between August and October.
When BuffaloBoy's old gal came into town, he was honest, and fair, about telling me. And I appreciated that. However, after a week (a week!) of not hearing from him, I became somewhat confused. Here was a man who had been taking me out at least once a week and all of the sudden, no communication at all. Not like him.
Finally, not really knowing what else to do, I sent him a low-key, but honest email saying that I was confused about not hearing from him and letting him know what I enjoyed his company, hoped to see/hear from him again and that no matter what, that I wished him well.
About two days later I get a long, rather heart-felt email from Boy. He let me know that he and ex-gal decided to spend the week together at the beach to "finish" things. Yikes! But knowing Boy, his "zen" way of thinking, etc., I decided to accept his apology. Again, he was very up front and honest. And he assured me that they were not looking to mend fences in any way, shape or form.
We went to dinner and mended fences ourselves. And so it continues. More to come, lovely readers.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Can I have syrup with my waffle?
I know that this is kinda ahead of the written story here, but I thought that I needed to keep writing or else I would never get caught up.
I've been trying to think about the relationship with BuffaloBoy and how I feel about him. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm still thinking about the Torch from time to time. Torch and I have also been back in touch, even seeing each other on a "friends" basis.
As I think about what I want (what IS it, anyway?) and who I would like to spend time with, Boy is looking good. His kindness, thoughtfulness, communication skills, honesty and willingness to HAVE a real relationship is key. And you just can't discount good men. There's not a lot of them out there. Or maybe there is, but not ones that you click with on all the right levels.
The Torch is a good man. But he obviously can't have a relationship with me (for whatever reason). I've been trying to move on completely for months and it might just be happening. The question becomes this: Am I moving on because of the feelings I have for Boy? Or am I moving on because it's just time to understand and accept that Torch isn't able to be who I need him to be.
Am I looking for a long-term with Boy? No. Not yet. Maybe never. But for right now, it's hard to beat someone who calls and says he can't wait to see me tomorrow night.
I've been trying to think about the relationship with BuffaloBoy and how I feel about him. Of course, it doesn't help that I'm still thinking about the Torch from time to time. Torch and I have also been back in touch, even seeing each other on a "friends" basis.
As I think about what I want (what IS it, anyway?) and who I would like to spend time with, Boy is looking good. His kindness, thoughtfulness, communication skills, honesty and willingness to HAVE a real relationship is key. And you just can't discount good men. There's not a lot of them out there. Or maybe there is, but not ones that you click with on all the right levels.
The Torch is a good man. But he obviously can't have a relationship with me (for whatever reason). I've been trying to move on completely for months and it might just be happening. The question becomes this: Am I moving on because of the feelings I have for Boy? Or am I moving on because it's just time to understand and accept that Torch isn't able to be who I need him to be.
Am I looking for a long-term with Boy? No. Not yet. Maybe never. But for right now, it's hard to beat someone who calls and says he can't wait to see me tomorrow night.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Time passes
Hi everyone. Sorry it's been so long, but life has been kind of crazy.
The big news is that I've been to the beach with the family, been to the beach with BuffaloBoy and have been to Italy with a friend. Life is good. No complaints over here.
And the other big news is that BuffaloBoy and I have moved to a new place, I think. It's long and complicated, but let me say in this quick post that it's hard to discount a nice person who is interested in having an adult relationship with honest, understanding communication. We're not in a big love by far, but I think that we're both getting to know each other and appreciate each other's company, views on the world, etc.
OK, late now and I have work to do for my class, so I'll catch up later.
The big news is that I've been to the beach with the family, been to the beach with BuffaloBoy and have been to Italy with a friend. Life is good. No complaints over here.
And the other big news is that BuffaloBoy and I have moved to a new place, I think. It's long and complicated, but let me say in this quick post that it's hard to discount a nice person who is interested in having an adult relationship with honest, understanding communication. We're not in a big love by far, but I think that we're both getting to know each other and appreciate each other's company, views on the world, etc.
OK, late now and I have work to do for my class, so I'll catch up later.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Late for a very important date
Well, it's been a while, and I do have a LOT of BuffaloBoy stories to tell, but I wanted to get one in tonight.
BuffaloBoy asked for a dinner date when we went out last Thursday night. He wanted to cook dinner for me on Tuesday night. Great, I say. Then on Friday night, he asked if he could move the dinner date to Monday since he wanted to go see friends on Tuesday night. Fine, I say. Then he calls Monday to see if I could move the date to Tuesday night. Sure, I thought. He wanted to clean the house properly and get all ready.
Next, he moves the time from 7:00 pm to 7:30. No problem. Then tonight, as I was getting ready, he called AGAIN and asked if he could move it to 8:00 pm. He wanted to do more cleaning. I've been to his house, and while it's not perfect, he's a real bachelor. No worries.
What do I think? While I understand that it's hard to get things done while you're working full-time, etc. But at the same time, he's now 44 and can't get his house clean? I don't like my friends because they have perfectly clean house. At the same time, I wonder. I wonder.
BuffaloBoy asked for a dinner date when we went out last Thursday night. He wanted to cook dinner for me on Tuesday night. Great, I say. Then on Friday night, he asked if he could move the dinner date to Monday since he wanted to go see friends on Tuesday night. Fine, I say. Then he calls Monday to see if I could move the date to Tuesday night. Sure, I thought. He wanted to clean the house properly and get all ready.
Next, he moves the time from 7:00 pm to 7:30. No problem. Then tonight, as I was getting ready, he called AGAIN and asked if he could move it to 8:00 pm. He wanted to do more cleaning. I've been to his house, and while it's not perfect, he's a real bachelor. No worries.
What do I think? While I understand that it's hard to get things done while you're working full-time, etc. But at the same time, he's now 44 and can't get his house clean? I don't like my friends because they have perfectly clean house. At the same time, I wonder. I wonder.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Honesty is the best policy
Once again, I am amazed at the honesty and open communication of BuffaloBoy.
We were scheduled to have a date this last Friday night. No worries. Then on Thursday morning, he called at the office and said that he had to cancel. At first I was a little surprised since that's not like him. Then he went on to explain.
He told me that his old girlfriend (from another city) was coming into town to get the rest of her stuff out of his house. They broke up in March/April (can't remember) and she had left some things that were valuable to her at his home. I know that this break up was hard for him and that the dating of the two of them was long term. Boy assured me that this was needed for him to have closure and that it was a strictly "business" visit.
I know he could have just called and cancelled and told me that a friend from out of town was coming in to see him. But he went out on a limb to tell me the true story. Think about it. If you are dating a girl, you don't want to risk the girl by telling her that your old girlfriend is coming into town and staying with you overnight.
My hat is off to you BuffaloBoy. Thanks for the honest, adult communication.
We were scheduled to have a date this last Friday night. No worries. Then on Thursday morning, he called at the office and said that he had to cancel. At first I was a little surprised since that's not like him. Then he went on to explain.
He told me that his old girlfriend (from another city) was coming into town to get the rest of her stuff out of his house. They broke up in March/April (can't remember) and she had left some things that were valuable to her at his home. I know that this break up was hard for him and that the dating of the two of them was long term. Boy assured me that this was needed for him to have closure and that it was a strictly "business" visit.
I know he could have just called and cancelled and told me that a friend from out of town was coming in to see him. But he went out on a limb to tell me the true story. Think about it. If you are dating a girl, you don't want to risk the girl by telling her that your old girlfriend is coming into town and staying with you overnight.
My hat is off to you BuffaloBoy. Thanks for the honest, adult communication.
To date or not to date, that is the question
A lot of dating for me involves self-awareness and thinking about what I want out of dating and life. Recently I have been dating the nice BuffaloBoy. He's sweet, funny, smart. And while he's not lighting me up inside, I AM having a good time. According the wonderful Mom, that's OK. For now, anyway.
But I feel like at this age, and with my objective (which is an eventual long-term partner), I don't want to waste too much time. So I'm torn. Keep dating him? Start dating around again? My main online dating service is slow. After you are on there for some time, you tend to see the same old faces and "playas" or guys who I supposed are still looking--just like me. My other online service is slow too.
So yesterday I "hid" my profile on my main service. With all the social, family and personal stuff going on in my life, I thought I would take a break.
And on the subject of Boy, I don't want to keep dating him and keep both he and I from meeting the right person. On the other hand, I like the fun I have with him, the talks we have, his company, etc. What to do? What to do? And so, that is the gist of dating life at 45.
But I feel like at this age, and with my objective (which is an eventual long-term partner), I don't want to waste too much time. So I'm torn. Keep dating him? Start dating around again? My main online dating service is slow. After you are on there for some time, you tend to see the same old faces and "playas" or guys who I supposed are still looking--just like me. My other online service is slow too.
So yesterday I "hid" my profile on my main service. With all the social, family and personal stuff going on in my life, I thought I would take a break.
And on the subject of Boy, I don't want to keep dating him and keep both he and I from meeting the right person. On the other hand, I like the fun I have with him, the talks we have, his company, etc. What to do? What to do? And so, that is the gist of dating life at 45.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Dating means shaving
This morning in the shower, I had a revelation. When you are dating someone, you must shave. Now, I'm not a crunchy granola girl who never shaves, but I always feel like my skin gets dryer when I shave (not to mention the nicks and cuts).
But when you're dating, you need to look sleek and polished. All the time! So I found myself attacking my legs this morning in the shower, making them fit for public consumption! (hey, I didn't mean it that way!)
BuffaloBoy is taking me for a nice dinner out on the town tonight. I'm looking forward to the evening, and just trying to enjoy the moments.
And so I move on....
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Mother knows best
Well, it's a hot Wednesday evening and I need to update everyone.
I had a date with BuffaloBoy last night. Again, just when I think he's not at all interested, he makes a move. Like chess perhaps? Who knows.
The story: Boy was out of town last Thurs to Sun evening at a bluegrass concert. I surely thought that he would call me when he got back into town, but no. Then I thought he would call Monday at the office, but no. Then I thought maybe I would hear from him Monday night. But no.
As per usual, I thought "well, it's done. He's not feeling it. I'm not feeling it." I like him, enjoy his company, but really am not getting lit up by him. I am looking for the feeling that just makes me bounce when I think of him. Nothing against him, just perhaps not my guy.
So Tuesday at the office, the phone rings. Boy says hello, tells me about his concert, asks about my weekend, etc. We chat and it's nice. He asks for a date for Thursday night. We agree that would work and he lets me know he'll call me later in the week to make plans.
About AN HOUR later he calls the office again. Claims that he "can't wait until Thursday" and wants to know if I can go to dinner that very night. Nice. I'm happy, since I DO enjoy his company. We meet, have a nice Thai dinner out, go get ice cream, then come back to my place. He seems like regular old Boy, and I enjoy myself. I ask him if he wants to hang out, watch a little TV, but he says no, he needs to go home.
OK, I ask you: is this a man who missed me? Who "couldn't wait" to see me?
I can NOT figure this one out. I enjoy him and like dating him casually, but I'm not sure WHAT he thinks. Per the great Mom, I should not work on figuring him out and just enjoy his company. She's a smart one, that Mom.
And so I move on.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Summer fun
It's been a while, so I need to catch everyone up.
I had another date with BuffaloBoy last weekend and we had a GREAT time. Last week he called twice just to talk and we had some amazing conversations. I always thought that talking to The Torch was good, but he and I more stayed on topics such as work since we are both in the same business. With Boy, we touch all sorts of topics.
At our dinner date on Saturday I was once again amazed at his openness, emotionally availability and ability to be honest. He doesn't shy away from topics and is thoughtful about what he says. As a consequence I am feeling open and honest, not afraid to go into some issues. With other people, including the Ex husband, I was afraid to broach some subjects, not knowing how judgmental the other person would be, how the other person would react, or how it might impact our relationship. Wow. Adult dating time. How nice! Refreshing! And truly, a lot of fun.
Boy has called me twice at work today just to chat and that's been fun too. My phone NEVER rings. People just come up to my desk and chat if they need me. You know who you are.
We have a date Friday night to have some steaks and rent a movie. Perfect Friday evening date when everyone is tired from the work week. And I think we may swing a tennis racquet on Sunday. Ah, summer fun.
And so I move forward....
I had another date with BuffaloBoy last weekend and we had a GREAT time. Last week he called twice just to talk and we had some amazing conversations. I always thought that talking to The Torch was good, but he and I more stayed on topics such as work since we are both in the same business. With Boy, we touch all sorts of topics.
At our dinner date on Saturday I was once again amazed at his openness, emotionally availability and ability to be honest. He doesn't shy away from topics and is thoughtful about what he says. As a consequence I am feeling open and honest, not afraid to go into some issues. With other people, including the Ex husband, I was afraid to broach some subjects, not knowing how judgmental the other person would be, how the other person would react, or how it might impact our relationship. Wow. Adult dating time. How nice! Refreshing! And truly, a lot of fun.
Boy has called me twice at work today just to chat and that's been fun too. My phone NEVER rings. People just come up to my desk and chat if they need me. You know who you are.
We have a date Friday night to have some steaks and rent a movie. Perfect Friday evening date when everyone is tired from the work week. And I think we may swing a tennis racquet on Sunday. Ah, summer fun.
And so I move forward....
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
An "F" on my report card
OK. I admit it. I can NOT read this man.
BuffaloBoy has, well, buffaloed me again. After the bike date and his declaration that he didn't want to get into another relationship since he just got out of a long-term one, I figured he was done dating me. Or at least he would space the dates out a bit more.
Instead he called last night. He wanted to know what I was doing for the weekend and said that he was thinking about going out to find a good restaurant. Wow! I wouldn't have bet on that one. Anyway, since I'm going to a party, I invited him to go with me.
We also had a wonderful conversation and I was once again impressed with how smart, thoughtful and funny he is.
I just can't figure this guy out. Half the time I think he's not at all interested and half the time I think he's interested. Of course, I keep waffling too. Half the time I figure he's not the guy, and then I turn around and he's got me laughing and thinking about him.
And so I move on....
BuffaloBoy has, well, buffaloed me again. After the bike date and his declaration that he didn't want to get into another relationship since he just got out of a long-term one, I figured he was done dating me. Or at least he would space the dates out a bit more.
Instead he called last night. He wanted to know what I was doing for the weekend and said that he was thinking about going out to find a good restaurant. Wow! I wouldn't have bet on that one. Anyway, since I'm going to a party, I invited him to go with me.
We also had a wonderful conversation and I was once again impressed with how smart, thoughtful and funny he is.
I just can't figure this guy out. Half the time I think he's not at all interested and half the time I think he's interested. Of course, I keep waffling too. Half the time I figure he's not the guy, and then I turn around and he's got me laughing and thinking about him.
And so I move on....
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