Late for a very important date

Well, it's been a while, and I do have a LOT of BuffaloBoy stories to tell, but I wanted to get one in tonight.

BuffaloBoy asked for a dinner date when we went out last Thursday night. He wanted to cook dinner for me on Tuesday night. Great, I say. Then on Friday night, he asked if he could move the dinner date to Monday since he wanted to go see friends on Tuesday night. Fine, I say. Then he calls Monday to see if I could move the date to Tuesday night. Sure, I thought. He wanted to clean the house properly and get all ready.

Next, he moves the time from 7:00 pm to 7:30. No problem. Then tonight, as I was getting ready, he called AGAIN and asked if he could move it to 8:00 pm. He wanted to do more cleaning. I've been to his house, and while it's not perfect, he's a real bachelor. No worries.

What do I think? While I understand that it's hard to get things done while you're working full-time, etc. But at the same time, he's now 44 and can't get his house clean? I don't like my friends because they have perfectly clean house. At the same time, I wonder. I wonder.

Honesty is the best policy

Once again, I am amazed at the honesty and open communication of BuffaloBoy.

We were scheduled to have a date this last Friday night. No worries. Then on Thursday morning, he called at the office and said that he had to cancel. At first I was a little surprised since that's not like him. Then he went on to explain.

He told me that his old girlfriend (from another city) was coming into town to get the rest of her stuff out of his house. They broke up in March/April (can't remember) and she had left some things that were valuable to her at his home. I know that this break up was hard for him and that the dating of the two of them was long term. Boy assured me that this was needed for him to have closure and that it was a strictly "business" visit.

I know he could have just called and cancelled and told me that a friend from out of town was coming in to see him. But he went out on a limb to tell me the true story. Think about it. If you are dating a girl, you don't want to risk the girl by telling her that your old girlfriend is coming into town and staying with you overnight.

My hat is off to you BuffaloBoy. Thanks for the honest, adult communication.

To date or not to date, that is the question

A lot of dating for me involves self-awareness and thinking about what I want out of dating and life. Recently I have been dating the nice BuffaloBoy. He's sweet, funny, smart. And while he's not lighting me up inside, I AM having a good time. According the wonderful Mom, that's OK. For now, anyway.

But I feel like at this age, and with my objective (which is an eventual long-term partner), I don't want to waste too much time. So I'm torn. Keep dating him? Start dating around again? My main online dating service is slow. After you are on there for some time, you tend to see the same old faces and "playas" or guys who I supposed are still looking--just like me. My other online service is slow too.

So yesterday I "hid" my profile on my main service. With all the social, family and personal stuff going on in my life, I thought I would take a break.

And on the subject of Boy, I don't want to keep dating him and keep both he and I from meeting the right person. On the other hand, I like the fun I have with him, the talks we have, his company, etc. What to do? What to do? And so, that is the gist of dating life at 45.

Dating means shaving

This morning in the shower, I had a revelation. When you are dating someone, you must shave. Now, I'm not a crunchy granola girl who never shaves, but I always feel like my skin gets dryer when I shave (not to mention the nicks and cuts).

But when you're dating, you need to look sleek and polished. All the time! So I found myself attacking my legs this morning in the shower, making them fit for public consumption! (hey, I didn't mean it that way!)

BuffaloBoy is taking me for a nice dinner out on the town tonight. I'm looking forward to the evening, and just trying to enjoy the moments.

And so I move on....

Mother knows best

Well, it's a hot Wednesday evening and I need to update everyone.

I had a date with BuffaloBoy last night. Again, just when I think he's not at all interested, he makes a move. Like chess perhaps? Who knows.

The story: Boy was out of town last Thurs to Sun evening at a bluegrass concert. I surely thought that he would call me when he got back into town, but no. Then I thought he would call Monday at the office, but no. Then I thought maybe I would hear from him Monday night. But no.

As per usual, I thought "well, it's done. He's not feeling it. I'm not feeling it." I like him, enjoy his company, but really am not getting lit up by him. I am looking for the feeling that just makes me bounce when I think of him. Nothing against him, just perhaps not my guy.

So Tuesday at the office, the phone rings. Boy says hello, tells me about his concert, asks about my weekend, etc. We chat and it's nice. He asks for a date for Thursday night. We agree that would work and he lets me know he'll call me later in the week to make plans.

About AN HOUR later he calls the office again. Claims that he "can't wait until Thursday" and wants to know if I can go to dinner that very night. Nice. I'm happy, since I DO enjoy his company. We meet, have a nice Thai dinner out, go get ice cream, then come back to my place. He seems like regular old Boy, and I enjoy myself. I ask him if he wants to hang out, watch a little TV, but he says no, he needs to go home.

OK, I ask you: is this a man who missed me? Who "couldn't wait" to see me?

I can NOT figure this one out. I enjoy him and like dating him casually, but I'm not sure WHAT he thinks. Per the great Mom, I should not work on figuring him out and just enjoy his company. She's a smart one, that Mom.

And so I move on.

Summer fun

It's been a while, so I need to catch everyone up.

I had another date with BuffaloBoy last weekend and we had a GREAT time. Last week he called twice just to talk and we had some amazing conversations. I always thought that talking to The Torch was good, but he and I more stayed on topics such as work since we are both in the same business. With Boy, we touch all sorts of topics.

At our dinner date on Saturday I was once again amazed at his openness, emotionally availability and ability to be honest. He doesn't shy away from topics and is thoughtful about what he says. As a consequence I am feeling open and honest, not afraid to go into some issues. With other people, including the Ex husband, I was afraid to broach some subjects, not knowing how judgmental the other person would be, how the other person would react, or how it might impact our relationship. Wow. Adult dating time. How nice! Refreshing! And truly, a lot of fun.

Boy has called me twice at work today just to chat and that's been fun too. My phone NEVER rings. People just come up to my desk and chat if they need me. You know who you are.

We have a date Friday night to have some steaks and rent a movie. Perfect Friday evening date when everyone is tired from the work week. And I think we may swing a tennis racquet on Sunday. Ah, summer fun.

And so I move forward....

An "F" on my report card

OK. I admit it. I can NOT read this man.

BuffaloBoy has, well, buffaloed me again. After the bike date and his declaration that he didn't want to get into another relationship since he just got out of a long-term one, I figured he was done dating me. Or at least he would space the dates out a bit more.

Instead he called last night. He wanted to know what I was doing for the weekend and said that he was thinking about going out to find a good restaurant. Wow! I wouldn't have bet on that one. Anyway, since I'm going to a party, I invited him to go with me.

We also had a wonderful conversation and I was once again impressed with how smart, thoughtful and funny he is.

I just can't figure this guy out. Half the time I think he's not at all interested and half the time I think he's interested. Of course, I keep waffling too. Half the time I figure he's not the guy, and then I turn around and he's got me laughing and thinking about him.

And so I move on....

Riding it out

Well, BuffaloBoy and I had a nice time last Sunday riding our bikes. It was a beautiful morning, and we enjoyed each other's company.

With that said, Boy came to pick me up and hour and a half after the original time he told me. He had called twice and was sweet about it, but I wondered how important it was for him to be on time. He was also not ready for an outdoor day. He brought no water, no shirt to change into (sweaty riding in the humid summer). I guess that he's just less detailed than I, but if you ask a young lady to go bike riding in a neighboring town, wouldn't you bring some water? Even for yourself?

After the ride, we had talked about getting some lunch, but ended up at my house. We decided to watch some tennis, relax and enjoy the air-conditioning. Later in the day, we got a pizza. watched a movie and just chilled out. He left my place about 6:00 pm.

All in all, a nice day, but I'm just not sure he's my guy. Good person, fun to hang around with, but no huge sparks on my part. And perhaps not on his either? It's hard to say since he is hard to read (for me anyway!).

While we were hanging around talking, he mentioned once again that the bad date and how it was not "fair" to take his mending/bruised heart out on me. He also mentioned how he didn't want to make seeing me a "big deal" since he just got out of the recent relationship. Hey! Maybe I don't want to make this a big deal! Maybe you're not worth a big deal!

Was he just trying to set my expectations? Or simply telling me the dating will slow down. Whatever it is, I won't feel a huge sting if this ends. I actually enjoy BuffaloBoy's company, but romance? Eh. We'll see what happens next.

And so I move on.

Clarity and apologies

The story so far:

BuffaloBoy and I have a crappy date last Saturday (see below for larger details). BuffaloBoy is quiet and pensive; I get more cheerful to the point of mania. Date ends and I figure I'll never see him again.

Tuesday (4th of July), BuffaloBoy finally makes it to ball game and fireworks. I worry most of the day that he is trying to get out of plans and figures he comes to ballgame because ticket is paid for. (BestFriend T needs to give me a cocktail of hers called "Whatever" to keep me from getting in too deep.)

Wed and Thurs, I don't hear from BuffaloBoy and figure if there is no date this weekend, the whole thing is done.

Friday morning--BuffaloBoy calls early (7:20 a.m.) and leaves message about getting together on Sunday morning for biking or tennis. I decide not to call back immediately, hoping that a little silence will inspire BuffaloBoy to keep up the pursuit. I don't like playing games, but I certainly think there is strategy involved in dating.

Friday afternoon I get back from lunch and a phone message is on my work phone. I think it's the eye doctor calling again. When I hear it's BuffaloBoy, I'm happy. I do enjoy his company.

I call BuffaloBoy back and let him ask again about getting together. He suggests going to P-burg to bike the battlefields and then have lunch. "We can make the day of it if we want." BuffaloBoy also mentions the crap date last week and apologizes for being "grumpy and out of sorts." I graciously accept and suggest that it was a bad day all around, and that the two of us should just toss that date away, and start fresh. BuffaloBoy agrees and sounds happy.

BuffaloBoy also flirts with me a bit on the phone....hmmmm.

More to come!

Fireworks...sort of.

Well, the 4th has come and gone and I can honestly say that I had a good one, despite assorted agnst about BuffaloBoy and my slightly off behavior the Saturday before.

Earlier, I had asked him if he would like to join me and some of my friends for the local ball game and fireworks ("Best in town!"). He affirmed and I had Bikeandhike Dave on the line looking for an extra ticket. One was procured and all was well.

Tuesday morning rolled around and the phone rang about 5 till 9 a.m. It's BuffaloBoy. Now, he has called me three times in the early morning. I like that he is comfortable enough to call me early since I'm a morning person, but I truly have NEVER had a boy call me this early this often. Anywho, he is letting me know he is still in North Carolina; he had gone there to meet friends for a bluegrass concert and decided to stay an extra day. Fine. No worries. He says he is heading home and may not make the dinner or even the game.

Arrghh. I sense he is trying to get out of the date and while I'm not suprised, I am disappointed. I enjoy his company and I went to some lengths to get him a ticket. I keep my frustration to myself; I don't want to make too many assumptions. Buffalo says that he will call me when he gets back to town.

Meanwhile, I worked on a sewing project, laundry, talked on the phone with friends, etc. Oh, and a nap of course! I got things ready for the casual cook-out at my house and was all ready. But no phone call from BuffaloBoy. *sigh*

About 4:05 pm, the phone rings again. BuffaloBoy reports that he is still far away, just over the North Carolina border. What? He wasn't that far away, and he's been supposedly driving for the last 7 hours? Well, he reports, he stopped a couple of places, kinda looked around, etc. Hey. Dude. You have a ticket for the ballgame. Again, I think he's making excuses to wiggle out and at this point I've kinda given up. I told him that we were leaving the house for the game at about 6:30 and he could come with us if he was ready.

5:35. The phone rings again. Now, I have to tell you that he IS making an effort. What his motives are, I just can't tell. Anyway, BuffaloBoy reports he is back in town, will take a shower, etc. and be over in about an hour. Yeah. I'm glad he's coming, but still can't shake the feeling that this is less about dating me and just more about hanging out.

Anyway, BuffaloBoy shows up, meets my other friends and we go off to the game and the fireworks. I had a great time, and hope that he had a nice time too. The worry lingers, however, that he might not be all that interested in dating, but rather happy to just be friends. Why? Well, there wasn't any move to hold my hand, kiss me, etc. He treated me nicely, but like a friend. I guess that's all well and good, but I was hoping for something more since I feel some sort of spark and chemistry, which just doesn't happen with every day. I guess I'll see if this coming weekend brings a date or not. That might be the clue.

And so I move forward.....