Sassy wins in a cage match!

Well, had a lunch date with the psychologist today. Not so good. As I walked into the restaurant, I looked around. We have traded photos, so I thought I would recognize him. Finally, I hear someone call my name. I look over and there is a very, very small man. Not a "little person," but a very small man. As my friends know, I'm not that tall. But I could have taken this man in a cage match.

His shoulders were smaller than mine. His waist was smaller, his thighs were smaller. Gulp! Let me just say right now that when somthing like this happens, your mind races. What to say? Try not to stare. How could this happen? I guess I didn't look at the height in the profile. Why would I need to see that? I'm a small woman. EVERYONE is taller than me. Even 14 yr old nephews.

And actually, he was a nice guy, and not bad looking. But small. It's not gonna happen people. Nope. I have to be honest. There's a lid for every pot as my sister says, but he wasn't mine.

Now the sticky part. I've already gotten an email thanking me for meeting at lunch, and "hoping we can get together soon." Grr. I'm gonna have to let him know it's not a match. I hate rejecting people, because I'm been on the other side. But it's better to do it now, instead of later.

Oh, and to top it all off, he didn't pay for my lunch. He was the one who suggested lunch and suggested the place. Now, I usually offer to pay once, so my date knows I'm not some spoiled princess. But he actually said, "OK." Not a good way to make an impression. Hey, we're in our mid-40s. You can spring for an $8 lunch, right?

Speaking of this, I liked the way Blue Eyes handled the lunch check. Again, he was the one to extend the invite and he was the one who chose the restaurant. When the check came, I made my offer. Blue Eyes said that he invited me and he would pay. And that perhaps next time I could buy. Nice. Perfect. Works for me. And so, I move on.....

Email and lunch

Well, today I finally get to meet the psychologist. Lunch is scheduled today at a small Thai place. Now, for my friends who know me, I don't always do Thai, but it seemed rude to ask for another location. So I'll be cautious in my ordering. I really don't know what this will be like. And as outgoing as I am, I always have a few small (but cute) butterflys in my tummy.

And I got a nice email from Blue Eyes. Sounded like he enjoyed the date, but another one is not scheduled. We'll see what happens.

There's the whole thing again about not wanting to appear too eager. Do guys really have a 3 day rule? And so, I go forward....

A hat

Oh, and to the date I had about a month ago. Wearing a baseball hat into a restaurant doesn't work for me. You are a grown man. You are supposed to be making a good first impression. And I'll find out eventually that you're losing your hair. It's OK. Really. Just don't wear a hat on a first date...unless we go to a ballgame. Thanks.

Success (somewhat)

Last Friday night saw me on a second date with Blue Eyes. We met through one of my onlines services and had our first date on Wednesday. Lunch is a nice way to start. It's a finite time, not a huge investment of time or money. During the date, we were talking about a concert coming up. He mentioned that he was going with some family members (he's the one from the BIG family) and that there might be an extra ticket.

I wanted to take the low-key approach, so I said if there was an extra ticket that it was meant to be, and that if there wasn't, then that was cool too. About 60 minutes after the lunch date, he called and left a message that there was an extra ticket and he would like to take me to the concert.

As Friday approached, we made our plans. He picked me up at the house, we had a quick drink here with some great Parmeasan crisps. (Thanks for the idea, Mom!). We then went to his brother's house to meet up with him, his wife and two of their children. Nice people all. I'm not sure who was the braver, Blue Eyes for taking a new "date" with family involved, or me for going. Oh, have I mentioned that we were meeting another sister and her husband. And at the end of the concert, we actually ran into ANOTHER sister. Whew!

The concert was wonderful and we all had a good time. Blue Eyes is somewhat quieter than some people I might be attracted to, but he's funny and sweet. I enjoyed his company and hope that he enjoyed mine. He brought me home after a couple of drinks after the concert (with the family gang) and walked me to the door. Nice manners. Big plus to me. And yes, there was a little kiss. Enough to be interesting, not enough to gauge much.

The question now is: how do you look interested without seeming desparate? This is a tough spot for me. I don't like waiting. I'm a woman of action. But through my dating experiences, it seems right to let the gentleman make the next move to another date. So we'll see if I hear from him. And I'll let you know.....

Bitter sweet dreams

The Torch was in my dreams last night. I know this all will take time, and I know that time takes time, but come on!

A shade of grey

Is it weird that I am attracted to grey hair on men? Of course, I hate my own and "enhance" my color, but for some reason, on a man it is sexy. Strange but true.

Never rains, but it pours

Well, after a week or two with no date, I have TWO this week. Tomorrow is a lunch date with a new online gentleman. He is from a big family and that attracted me to his profile. I think one of the lessons I've learned is that the person I will eventually be with will be very family oriented and appreciated my family and my relationship with them. And I think it says a LOT about how someone's family dynamics work. Case in point: my ex-father-in-law did not take the time to come to our wedding. Nice guy, huh? I should have seen that clue, but the dress was gorgeous (thanks Mom) and I looked good in it....

My other hopeful date is the psychologist. We have been continuing to email and I expect he'll call this week for a face to face meeting. As I've mentioned, he's 51, so I'm nervous about the age difference, but he seems like a really good guy. Is it a match, though?

Not too much else to tell right now. Hopefully, some good stories will come out of this week. Until then....

Two-fer

To all that have notice I haven't blogged recently...so sorry. Things in the dating world have actually been slow. I feel like with the weather changing and me being much more thoughtful about my dating life, I've quieted down. But never fear, I've got a new prospect to talk about.

I met this gentleman through one of my online services. He is a psychologist, so I figure I can get a date and therapy all in the same evening! Actually, we have only been emailing and talked on the phone once. He seems nice, but as my dating audience knows, it's the in person, chemistry thing that is so important. And no matter who the online service advertises ("Find the love of your life with our super-duper quiz"), you just can't predict or pinpoint the matters of the heart.

We will talk again I believe, and set up an in-person meeting. You would think that with all the online first dates I've been on, I'd be a pro at it. But I'm always a little nervous. The personal rejection thing is hard to wrap your arms around. I've learned not to take anything personally. If they don't want to see me again, they're not my guy. I am optimistic enough to believe the right person is out there for me. And I'm settling for Mr. Right Now. I'm searching for Mr. Right.

That being said, I do like the online way to meet people. I'm not a bar girl and my office environment is rather small. So, to the keyboard I go.

Happy holidays (Easter, Passover) to all my friends and family. And so it goes....

Searching

So last night's wine date was OK. Yep, just OK. Not bad. Not good. Not funny. Just there.

Now, you know I don't talk bad about any date. But I do tell when they are dull, dopey or just plain strange. This gentleman can't even fall into any of these characteristics. We had not one shred of anything in common except that we are both in our 40s and both single. Nothing after that.

Different activities. Different views on family. Different views on reading. OK, you get my drift.

But where, oh, where are the interesting men? The ones who have something to say. Something they believe in. Oy vey, my same old song. Enough already.

Tonight I am attending FirstFridays, an artwalk in our arts district. Supposed to be a fun scene with lots of people watching. My wingwoman will be be the lovely L. We plan on seeing some people, seeing some art and then grabbing a bit of dinner. I'll let you know how it goes.....

Wine date

Tonight after tennis, I am meeting a gentleman for a glass of wine. Met him on my online service. Not sure if it's even worth it, but it's just a glass of wine. And since I've heard it only takes one guy to make you happy, might as well get out there and see if he's the one. More later. Until then, have a great day.