Happy 2007

Hello to everyone and sorry for the big gap in writing. I had a horrid cold and cough before and during the holidays, went "home" to Mom's house for the holidays and then ended things with BuffaloBoy.

Yes, you heard that right. This has been coming for some time, but came to a head after the Thanksgiving lunch that he declined with my Mom and sis. I let him know that I didn't think I was his type/girl, but while I think he was listening, I'm not sure he heard. We tried to see each other a couple of more times before Christmas, but the "feeling" just wasn't there. The final straw (for me) was the fact that he didn't call on Christmas Day ("oh, I didn't have your cell number in my cell"), yet The Torch called to wish me a happy day.

Then Boy made plans with other friends to go out of town on New Year's Eve. Frankly, I think that after 6 months, if you are truly interested in someone, you should be planning that night with your sweetie. PLUS (to add insult to injury), I got an EMAIL for New Year's Eve Day, wishing me well. Again, The Torch called in person to wish me well.

To that end, Boy and I are meeting on Friday to swap things (my book and jacket, his tennis racquet). I'm sorry if he's hurt, but I'm not about to settle for someone who isn't showing me the respect and interest that I want.

And so I move on.

Holiday spirit

As the holidays are approaching, I am getting into the spirit. Saturday BuffaloBoy and I went to buy some Christmas trees. One for his house, one for mine. It was great to have help; he just lifted mine up and plopped it in the stand. So easy. Mine is now all done and decorated. His is in the stand, but not sure if he got any decorating done or not. The house looks lovely and I always enjoy getting all my special things out of storage.

While on the subject, I want to encourage everyone to give to their favorite charity or cause this season. Right here in my hometown there are people who are going to bed hungry at night. I've given a couple of ways this season and am always surprised that it makes me almost more happy than giving a material gift!

The fire is not out

Ever since The Torch and I decided to try to be friends, we’ve been in contact with emails, work-related projects, a dinner or two, lunch, etc. Every time I see him, I still am bowled over by the feelings I have for him. I’m more adjusted to it now, and it’s not keeping me up at night, but I still feel deeply for him.

The other day we went to lunch with a mutual friend who knows about my thoughts for him. After lunch she mentioned how he looks at me and how we are so perfect for each other. But unless he really undergoes a change and opens himself up to being with me, it’s status quo. And so I move on…

Why can't we be friends?

(written last night, but posted this morning)

Hi all and sorry for the lapse in writing once again. To catch you up, BuffaloBoy found himself in the doghouse over the Thanksgiving holiday. For the few weeks before, we had talked about two important things to me; my birthday and the fact that my mother and twin sister were coming into town. On the Friday night before the holiday week, Boy mentions that he will be out of town the night of my birthday. I was more hurt and disappointed than anything. After all, we have been dating for almost 6 months. He wanted to attend a party in another town and did not offer to change his plans.

While I’m old enough to handle my birthday by myself, I felt frustrated and confused since (in my opinion) we had talked about it for the weeks before. Luckily, some of my wonderful friends made sure my birthday was a success with a wonderful dinner and great conversation.

The other issue in the same time-frame that helped Boy’s doghouse status was the fact that he told me that he would meet my mother and sister for lunch while they were in town. Again, we had discussed this and I told him early that this was a “no obligation” invitation. But he seemed like he was very agreeable.

The Friday after Thanksgiving, I called Boy at the appointed time to tell him where and when to meet us that noontime. He begged off, saying he was “tired,” and would like to, but, you know, he just was tired. Uff!

Am I off base to expect that when you are a grown man, and you tell the woman you have been dating steadily that you will be at an appointed lunch, you will be there? Honestly, he should have just pulled up his socks, sucked it up and come out for one hour.

This leads me to the last part. Obviously there has never been a huge romantic attachment to the Boy, even though I’ve been enjoying his company. And with his actions (coupled with some other dates that have been begged off or done “later”) of the week, I’m pretty sure that he is simply enjoying my company too without any long-term thoughts.

While I know it’s only been 6 months of dating, I don’t want either one of us to get our feelings hurt, or waste our time. I like Boy, but long-term romance? I don’t think it’s in the cards for us.

Thankful for....

Sorry this is about a week late, but I wanted to make a list of what I'm thankful for:

• my family who are funny and supportive and loving
• my friends who are generous and kind and fun
• the fact that I have a roof over my head and food to eat
• books
• values my parents taught me
• my opportunity to try teaching this year

I could go on, but you get the idea. Hope all had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.

darn it!

Well, I hate being ambivalent. I am enjoying time with BuffaloBoy, but when I shut my eyes and look into the future, I don't see a life with him. And my objective to dating is to have fun, yes, but also to find a partner, lover, friend who I can spend this next part of my life with.

So, do I break it off before someone gets hurt? Do I bring up a conversation so he knows what I'm thinking? Do I just relax and see what happens? After 5 months, I think it's time we decide where we're going.

And to tell the truth, I'm not sure Boy sees up long-term as well. I'm not HIS usual girl....I'm more intellectual, more "buttoned-up" if you will, more "mainstream." Arrgh.

One of my thoughts is to see what happens over the holidays when we will see each other a lot less. After my Italy trip, things seemed to be better on both sides. But lately I feel that the "honeymoon" is over and we are seeing each other in the real light. He is forgetful, disorganized, not into planning too much. All things that might eventually drive me up the wall.

On the flip side, his heart is warm and generous and his communication skills are very solid. Surely there must be someone else out there that has these traits, and who is more of a match for me??

Housekeeping 101

Well, Saturday night BuffaloBoy made me dinner at his house. We usually hang out at my place for the sheer convenience of it all, and the fact that Boy is vocal about not being a good housekeeper. I usually pooh-pooh that, saying that I like friends for who they are, not how they keep their house.

I arrived at the set time of about 7:30 and, surprise, Boy is not ready. In fact, he hasn't showered yet, telling me that he has been running around cleaning and cooking all day. He has also already broken into the wine, using some of it to marinade the lamb (delicious!) and has had a glass himself. I volunteer to go grab another bottle while he pops into the shower.

As I arrive back at his crib, I see him in the backyard working feverishly at the grill. The lamb smells divine (he actually is a good cook) and I can't wait for dinner.

When I walk inside, I am amazed at the kitchen. Even though he has sworn that he has been working "all day," to a girl's eyes, it just doesn't look like it. Fast forward to his thoughts that he worked on his kitchen and bathroom, watched two movies on TV, went to the grocery twice and the drugstore once. So I figure his cleaning time, with all those distractions, was down to about 45 minutes. No wonder it still looked like a bachelor pad.

This got me thinking about different men I've dated and their different houses. The Torch's apartment is funky and cool, fairly neat and tidy. Much like his personality and owing to his job in the "arts." The Pilot's house was always neat and tidy too, which makes sense. He was a clothes horse and always dressed very particularly. The Accountant's house was a jumble. Papers everywhere and a pool table in the living room!

I promised the Boy that I would help him make a dent. Truly, it's not the "guy's apartment" right out of college that you swore you would never set foot in again. It just needs a little touch-up and he needs to learn some tip and tricks of the housekeeping trade. I guess that most men don't learn this from their moms like the girls do.

And so I move on....apparently with a dust cloth in my hand.

P.S. The dinner and evening were delightful.

Back in town

Well, this past weekend was the first weekend since I've been back from Italy (late Sept) that the BuffaloBoy and I haven't had any sort of date. No panic. He was out of town to see his family.

I had a good weekend, with lots of yard work, visits with my home-girls, and some down time. Sadly, my beloved Steelers lost on Sunday, so that put a crimp in the day.

This morning, Boy called to say hello and check to see if we still had a date to watch Monday Night Football. (For those who don't know, I'm a big football fan). I told him yes, and that I missed him over the weekend. That was big stuff for us. We are generally going slow and taking our time. Although, the conversation we had at the vineyard a week ago was moving us forward...or so I think from my position.

It will be interesting to see what happens next. We both are still smarting from other relationships (oh, Torch...), and are reluctant to get in to deep too fast. OK with me, most of the time, anyway.

I'll get to the details of the vineyard conversation in another post. Meanwhile, I move on.

You're 48, for cryin' out loud!

Back in the day, I dated a man (see blog entry entitled "A Date and a .38"). After a very immature kiss-off by him via email (email for goodness sake!), I thought that whole chapter was done.

Forward to about August when I get an email (another!) saying that he would like to be friends again, although he made it clear that he was dating another woman and it was going well. The generous, polite person I am, I said sure. We exchange a few emails, talk lightly about getting coffee, leave voice mails, but never seem to connect.

After an innocent email where I mentioned that he appeared in one of my dreams (very G-rated), I got back an email that was definitely R-rated. He said, "I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries." I wrote back that yes, it was over the line, that I did not appreciate his thoughts, that I was dating a very nice man and that I was woman of integrity.

Instead of him apologizing for his somewhat 16-year-old behavior, he makes it my problem. Says that I was being too sensitive, that he was joking, that I can't take a joke, etc. He wrapped it up by saying that if I didn't respond to his email, he would know that I didn't want to talk to him anymore and that would be a "shame." For whom, I ask?

So I hit the "delete" button and forget about it. Two days later, here comes another email, again berating me for not being open enough to accept his comment as a joke. Oh, and that I needed was "obsessed with my old boyfriend and needed to move on." Then, a TEXT message. Arrgh. Then yesterday, another email. All deleted.

My question becomes, who really needs to move on here? Not me. Goodness. Go back to sixth grade.

And so, I do move on.